Monday, July 13, 2009

the ugly truth

What can you expect after watching the last few scenes of perhaps two of the most popular romantic movies of all time: Sleepless in Seattle and Titanic? A big mess.

This week can either be one of the best weeks ever in my life or one of the worst.

I don't know what to think of having to face something I've been dreading for some months now. Part of me is confident that I'll totally be okay...that I'll remain calm and composed and appear as an accomplished woman who knows what she wants and is secure of herself. But the other part of me is worried that I'll totally freak out and shrink into a desperate old woman who is holding on to what may be her last hope.

I don't want to compete. How the heck do I compete with a young, beautiful woman in her early 20's? Only a fool would choose a plain, neurotic, thirty something woman like me.

I don't like myself when I'm this way...someone hit in me in the head!

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